Suzy Snakeyes has been with the league for all 11 years it has existed. We sat down with her for this spotlight before her final game skating as a Tough Cookie.
LADD: This year has seen multiple members of the Tough Cookies retiring. First Gori Spelling, Agata Chokabitchski, then Laguna Beyatch. Are you retiring as well? Will you continue to skate elsewhere?
SS: The rumors are true. Champs will be my last game as a skater with the Tough Cookies and LADD. This year I hit all of my goals that I set in my first couple years as a derby skater: (1) skate for 10 years (hit that last year - I'm on year 11 now), (2) skate with the Tough Cookies for 10 years (hit that this year), and (3) skate until I'm 40. The playoffs were my first games as a 40 year old! And now I'm at a point in my life where it makes sense to free up more time so I can more effectively grow my fitness training business. And with Cookies going to champs one more time, the stars just seem to be aligning for me to step away now and potentially go out on a really high note.
I am reluctant to use the word "retire" because I physically still feel like I can skate. I don't currently have future plans to skate with any other leagues in Southern California. That said, I will be skating with Team My Little Ponies at the Jantastic Invitational in San Diego in January, so clearly I'm already failing at this retirement thing. And if I end up moving somewhere else someday, I could totally see myself coming back to skating with a new league in a new city. At this point, I'm just going to take things day by day, skate for funsies if I want to, and if I come to a realization that I've made a huge mistake come January, I'll just have to beg LADD and the Tough Cookies to take me back!
LADD: How did you first encounter the Derby Dolls? Did you have any skating experience prior to coming here?
SS: I moved to Los Angeles in April of 2003. When I moved here, I had no job, no money, and aside from my roommate and my sister, I didn't know anyone. It's notoriously tough to meet people in this city, and I was pretty miserable for the first seven months. I ended up going to the Craigslist "Activity Partners" page to find a hobby or a way to meet people just to find a way to get out of my funk. And I ended up stumbling across an ad for a newly-formed roller derby league. As someone who always loved roller skating, and had secretly harbored a desire to play roller derby but just assumed the sport was dead - I knew I had to check this out. I went to my first practice on November 5, 2003 at Skateland in Northridge and I was immediately hooked.
My background in skating is lifelong but purely recreational. I spent much of my early childhood roller skating around my garage and the cul de sac where I lived, usually while listening to the Beastie Boys "Licensed to Ill" cassette. My dad bought me an ill-fitting pair of inline skates when they came into fashion while I was in high school, and I skated everywhere in them. But I *always* preferred roller skates. I bought a pair of quad skates at a thrift store when I was in college and would skate all around campus in them. I wore those skates to my first LADD practice! My skating background definitely helped me learn skills pretty quickly when I first started. But this was the first time in my life that I had ever played a team sport, and learning the nuances of a fast-paced and ever-evolving game has always been and continues to be a challenge for me!
LADD: What is the origin of your derby name and number?
SS: I enjoy gambling and Vegas, and I specifically really love the game of craps. So when I was going through name ideas, I gravitated toward that. As a skater who is small in stature, I thought a name that indicated I was sneaky felt right on me - and snake eyes seemed to convey that message. And Suzy just sounded good with Snake Eyes. In order to make it appear more like a last name, I changed Snake Eyes to Snakeyes and Suzy Snakeyes was born. As for the number, if you bet on snake eyes on a craps table and win, the payout is 30:1.
LADD: Your husband proposed to you at the track during a game. Walk us through that day and what you were feeling at the time.
SS: That afternoon, we went to a friend's wedding. I remember him asking me if it was ok if he stayed at the wedding with his friends rather than going to my game that night. I told him it was no big deal, and left him at the reception to go get ready to play that night. I didn't expect to see him at all.
I remember getting dressed for the bout and asking my derby wife (Puncherello) if I should wear fancy gold lame booty shorts or a pair of hot pants that had a talking bubble that said "poot" coming from the butt. She advised me to wear the nice, gold shorts that day. Little did I know that she was in on the elaborate proposal scheme, and I am forever grateful to her for preventing me from wearing my Poot Pants during one of the biggest moments of my life.
At halftime of the bout, Evil E told us all to watch a video. As soon as I heard the song "Take On Me" from A-ha (our song), I knew something was up. You can actually see me saying a profanity on the proposal video. A few seconds later, I was pointed toward the track where I saw Mike wearing the suit he was wearing at the wedding earlier that day and a bunch of my friends holding up signs that said "SUZY SNAKEYES WILL YOU MARRY ME". I was *completely* shocked and surprised! I think I said yes before he even dropped down on one knee and proposed.
I remember my legs feeling really heavy during the first half of that bout. Needless to say, I was lighter than air during the second half! And things were pretty much a euphoric blur for the rest of the night!
We ended up getting married just over a year later on the same part of the banked track where he proposed.
LADD: Other than the proposal and wedding, do you have a favorite roller derby memory?
SS: My favorite non marriage-related roller derby memory is when the Tough Cookies won our first championship in 2008. We struggled quite a bit during our early years and had trouble winning games at all. I played my first game with the Cookies in January 2005 and we didn't become champs contenders until 2008. That year, we embarked on a camPAIN that mirrored the Obama presidential campaign taking place that same year. We made camPAIN posters and videos for every bout. And when we finally made it to our first championship game at the end of the year, we pulled out all the stops. We had special red, white and blue old-school derby throwback-style uniforms made for that bout and told NOBODY about them. The first time anyone saw them was game day. That night, we rolled out to the track chanting YES WE CAN and then yes we did! It was a close game against the Sirens (our opponent from our very first game ever in 2005) and we squeaked out a narrow victory. When Iron Maiven, our captain at the time, was handed the trophy - she handed it over to me for the victory lap. I was the first captain of the Cookies, and I always thought that was a really cool gesture after all the years and the history. Skating that lap with the trophy is one of my greatest derby and life highlights.
LADD: Have you worked on any committees with the league or performed any activities outside of standard team scrimmages?
just skating?
SS: I was on the PR committee for a number of years. And I've been on the Training Team since we formed it in 2006. I was the first Training Team head and held that position for several years. I was assistant coach for the all-star team, The L.A. Ri-Ettes, in 2013. I also teach Derby Por Vida (introduction to roller derby) classes on Sunday mornings, and have been doing that since the program started in 2009. I love seeing people that come through DPV - many of which having little to no skating background - learn and improve and eventually move up to our competitive program. I'm proud to have been the first teacher for a good number of our skaters, from fresh meat to subpool to team level, including some of our all-stars and one member of Team USA!
LADD: No way! Who did you teach who is now skating for Team USA at the Roller Derby World Cup ?
SS: Former Varsity Brawlers - LADD, former Angel City Derby Girls Scarlet, current Texas Rollergirls Texecutioner and current Team USA skater Fifi Nomenon started in Derby Por Vida!
LADD: Since you are a Derby Por Vida trainer, what would you say to someone who is reading this and wondering whether they should sign up or not?
SS: DO IT! Every time I start a new session, I ask everyone what their skating background is. The main reason I do that is so everyone can hear stories that often reflect their own experience. We get so many people who haven't skated since elementary school birthday parties and some have never even skated in their lives. And having been a DPV instructor for five years, I can say with confidence that it doesn't matter what your experience or background is. If you work hard and you practice outside of class, you WILL improve and you can have a future as a competitive roller derby skater. Plus, DPV is a super supportive environment and a great way to make friends!
LADD: What is "Do for it" and how did that become a thing?
SS: The Tough Cookies have a long and storied history of taking inside jokes WAY too far. Do For It is a combination of "do it" and "go for it". At this point, I don't even remember where or how it started. I just know we started saying it, likely because we thought it was funny. And then we made shirts. And then it ended up on a championship banner. That's just how we roll.
LADD: After this year, do you anticipate returning to the Doll Factory to continue teaching Derby Por Vida, or would you consider pursuing a career in coaching or announcing?
SS: I'm pretty sure it will be as if I never left. I do plan on coaching the Cookies, so that will bring me to the Factory at least once a week. I I would love to get back to doing some announcing. I was a radio DJ in a past life (aka my twenties) and I've always gravitated toward derby commentating, so hopefully I can do more of that in the future. And I absolutely plan to continue teaching my Sunday morning DPV class. It's super fun and rewarding!
LADD: What will you miss most about the LA Derby Dolls?
SS: I will miss the excitement of skating bouts at the Doll Factory. The energy in there really is electric and special, and it is so thrilling to skate bouts in that building.
LADD: Other than the current Doll Factory, what venues did the Derby Dolls used to skate in?
SS: We have skated in roller rinks (including Skateland and the now closed World on Wheels), Iceoplex in Panorama City, an outdoor roller hockey rink in North Hollywood, a small pavement rink at Robertson Park in Pasadena, a rooftop in Chinatown, the pillow factory beneath the rooftop in Chinatown, the top level of a mall in Little Tokyo and, of course, the Doll Factory. There were periods of time when we had nowhere to skate and we'd set up outdoor workouts in Hollywood or run guerrilla-style scrimmages in a parking lot in Santa Monica. I consider myself lucky to have been able to be a part of all of these locations and experiences. We had a number of tough, lean times when we had to put our track in storage and we always managed to figure out how to keep practices going. All of these places are a part of the LA Derby Dolls story, and show our resilience as a league.
LADD: Last year you were awarded the Demigod award at the year end celebration for being in the league 10 years. Are there any other Demigods still skating? If not, who are the most 'seasoned' skaters who are still active?
SS: Aside from me, I don't think anyone who was given the Demigod award last year is still skating. But, I believe we have two active skaters that earned Demigod status this year who are still skating - Broadzilla (from the Fight Crew) and Venus De Maul'r (Tough Cookies)!
Broadzilla and I have a friendly competition - she told me that however long I skate with LADD, she wants to skate longer. And now it looks like she might just win that competition. Although I hate losing, she has continued skating despite a long commute and having a young child. So if anyone deserves to win, it's Broady. And who knows... maybe Veenie will end up beating us both!
LADD: What is your opinion of flat track roller derby?
SS: I love all roller derby! Although banked track is my first love and my home, there are aspects of flat track I really do enjoy and sometimes I even think I'm a better flat track skater than a banked track skater. Everything moves so fast on the bank and sometimes I find that I'm personally able to see strategies play out more easily on the flat. Plus, playing flat track has given me greater opportunities to travel to skate, and that's always fun.
LADD: Share a piece of odd trivia about yourself that we most likely do not know about you.
SS: Well, here's a deep, dark secret that very few people know - I once auditioned for RollerJam. My roller derby dream runs deep! Rollerjam was the scripted roller derby show on TNT in the late 90's. I was living in Fresno at the time and somehow found out about a casting call. I drove down to LA with some friends and we auditioned at a rink. I remember having to choose a "character" from a list to audition for, and then skate around the rink with one of the Rollerjam skaters before stopping in front of a camera to do a short interview. I'm glad Rollerjam turned me down as my roller derby destiny was clearly to be with the LA Derby Dolls a handful of years later!
LADD: Are the Tough Cookies dedicating this year's performance to anyone?
SS: I don't know if this is official and I'm certainly not speaking officially on the team's behalf, but I imagine if we're dedicating our performance to anyone this year, it has to be Kanye West. We have channeled Kanye all year long as he is a constant reminder to be confident to the point of utter ridiculousness. It takes KANYE-FIDENCE to win championships, and we have that in spades!
"Come on now! How could you be me and want to be anyone else?" - Kanye. Just sub in "Tough Cookies" for "me" and there you go!
In all seriousness, though, I would personally like to dedicate this year to all of the Tough Cookies past, present and future. The team has and will have a lot of different incarnations and no matter who is on our roster at any given time, we have always been the Fun Team. I am so proud that we have been able to maintain that legacy and have all of the KANYE-FIDENCE in the world that it will continue after I'm done skating as a Cookie!
LADD: In the friendship circle picture last year, there were two bananas in the picture. Who are they and why are they in the circle?
SS: Methy and Bananamon! Ok, so here's the story, and it's weird in a delightfully Tough Cookie kind of way...we have a focus word on the Cookie bench and that word is "banana". When too many people are talking about too many different things, our coach or captains will say "banana" and we'll all shut up and listen. One night, a few of us were at the Norco Fair, and we won a stuffed banana at a carnival game. He had some stuffing coming out of his nose, and we decided it must be meth (because, it can't be pointed out enough, we are weird) and named him Methy. And then Hunnie Brasco brought us a rasta banana she had at home named Bananamon. We have had them at our bench at our games partially as mascots and partially to remind us to focus. So clearly they were instrumental in our wins last season and, as such, deserved to be on our championship banner with us.
LADD: How many championships have you won with the Tough Cookies? Which was the most memorable?
SS: I have won four championships with the Cookies. The first championship is the most memorable thus far. It took a long time to get there and, really, there's nothing quite like your first time. That said, if we can bring home championship number five on the night I retire, well, that would be pretty darn memorable, don'tcha think?
LADD: Is there anything you would like to say to the Tough Cookies fans who are reading this now?
SS: To our longtime fans who have been around since the beginning and those who have recently discovered us, THANK YOU SO MUCH for your support and dedication! Whether you connect with us because of our game play on the track or our personality off the track (hopefully both), we are so grateful for your support. Tough Cookies LOVE our fans! You are ALL a part of our Friendship Circle, and no matter who is on the roster, we will forever be YOUR Fun Team!
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