ladowntownnews.com - Riding Hard With the Derby Dolls

It’s All Fun and Games Until You Try to Skate With the Derby Dolls’ Junior Team

 

DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES - For five days, I needed help putting on my socks. I had to sleep with a heating pad. My 5-year-old daughter noticed that her dad is “slow like an old man.”

Even if the back pain made me walk like Yoda with a cane, at least I could say I got hurt skating with the insane members of the Los Angeles Derby Dolls.

Except it isn’t true.

For my latest Downtown Challenge, where I take on different jobs and activities that are part of the local community, I hoped to skate with Downtown’s first ladies of roller derby at the Doll Factory, their Temple Street home.

Like a lot of things in life, it was a good idea at the time. However, if there’s one thing I learned, it’s that gravity sucks. Well, that and that 9-year-olds are much better skaters than I am in.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

For the uninitiated, the Derby Dolls are an all-women league who compete on a banked track. They were founded in 2003 by Rebecca Ninburg and Wendy Templeton, who like all Dolls have cool nicknames. Ninburg goes by Demolicious and Templeton is Thora Zeen.

Other skaters include Killo Kitty, Iron Maiven and Broadzilla. They are divided into five teams with monikers such as Fight Crew, Tough Cookies and the L.A. Ri-Ettes, the league’s All-Star squad.

While a match can look like a chaotic blur, the rules of roller derby are actually quite simple. Each squad has five players: four blockers and one jammer. With the help of the blockers, who function like NFL offensive tackles on wheels, the jammer has 60 seconds to break through the pack and pass opposing skaters. Each opponent she passes is worth one point.

It’s a full-contact sport where the women can hit the barriers at speeds of up to 25 mph. Every Doll has war stories.

“I broke my arm during a game last year, so you can certainly get hurt,” said Trixie Biscuit, a member of the Fight Crew.

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